"I Can Only Imagine.."

I must start this post by saying I am amazed each day by the power of family and friends during times like this. It's a beautiful thing. A bond between a grandmother and her granddaugther, is a bond like no other. Losing her has been the hardest thing for me and my family. Watching my mother hurt for her mother...it sends chills through me. Not sure what I can do to make her feel comforted. My grandmother, Bonka, had a way about her that made you feel so loved, so cared for. She always knew what to say and do when you went to her for help. Always had a home remedy for being sick and somehow, they always worked! She loved my two sons, her great-grandkids like they were her own...it was the most amazing thing to watch. When I say her eyes actually lit up when Jacob would walk through her door, I mean it. It was fabulous for me to watch her building that strong bond with them as she did with me so very long ago. This link is something that a friend sent to me last night after the visitation and it brought peace to me like nothing else. Thank you Jenni. A beautiful song, beautiful words...capture all that I know she is feeling and seeing at this very moment. Such a wonderful place. And we have her memories to carry with us for a lifetime. Thank you Bonka, for the being the greatest grandparent, friend, homemaker, glue that stuck the family together, warm heart that people were drawn to, and SO, SO, much more...listen to this song, it's beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xwzItqYmII Bonka with her first grandson, my sweet Jacob. He is going to miss her dearly. They formed such a beautiful bond together...as a mother, I loved watching their relationship form day to day. He would get very excited to go and see her and she would do the same. He'd jump out of the car when we got there, she'd be waiting at her door, arms wide open for a big hug and an eskimo kiss. He'd grab her stool from her bathroom, drag it over and sit right next to her and show her his toys and tell her some pretty funny stories...he kept her laughing. She was able to watch him grow and my heart aches that she was only able to spend very little time with my sweet Justin. I only have ONE picture of the two of them together and this breaks my heart, but I know he loves her and he will miss her too. She left a mark. a very, very big mark in both of their hearts and lives forever....

my first "shout out"!

I was on the hunt to find the most perfect birthday invitations for my sweet boy that will be turning one before we know it...so, the journey began and I searched and searched until finally I found...

WOW! Although I cannot reveal the amazing finished product for his special milestone birthday, I will say that I am 110% pleased with the way she captured my sweet boy and the theme of his little bash! and if you think her creativity stops with invites, you're wrong...you MUST go and check out her neat business! Thank you Jennifer for the priceless invitation you created for my Justin!

So, head on over to her etsy shop and see all of her super cute creations!

www.littlemonkeydoodles.etsy.com

(I can't do all that fancy linking like other blogs, so this will have to do for now!)

Thank goodness for laughter!

So, with my grandmother being in the hospital waiting for the Angels to take her home, I find myself feeling lonely and emotional 99% of the day. However, having these two boys around can sure cheer a person up! So, thank goodness for LAUGHTER and my two boys that make each day fabulous! Take a look and see what I mean! Jacob loves to crack Justin up and this was our morning while Daddy was sleeping...excuse the fact that my three-year-old is still in his pj's at 10am on a monday!

birthday planning time already??

WARNING: All I see when I look at this photo is my beautiful, DOUBLE-CHIN...so, please avoid looking at all costs!) Look at big brother holding little man! LOVE IT!

So, you can call me pathetic but I am feeling a little sad about the birthday planning process for my baby boy. I remember doing this for Jacob and now he's three, so excuse me for being a little sappy about this important milestone. He's fixing to be ten months old, which means the party planning gets kicked into high gear!! Hard to believe that my little man has eight teeth, scoots all over, claps his little hands, waves bye bye, says "Mama" all the time( LOVE it, because Jacob always said DaDa). Our family of four is SO amazingly blessed and I will always remember the first day I held you in my arms-we definately loved you before we met you, sweet boy.

Justin Cole was born May 11,2009 at 12:31pm!

Our Bonka

...Bonka is ready to go be with my paw paw and her sisters and brothers. She has lived a full life, with kids, grandkids and two, great-grandkids. I miss her already and she's still clinging on to life and I must say, with all of the odds against her, she has been a fighter. What do I want my boys to remember most about their great-grandmother? SO MUCH. Her strength, her love, the way she used to sit and do crossword puzzles while watching young and the restless, how she could always make a sandwich better than anyone, her hands were always cold-but when you touched them, you felt her warmth inside, the way she perfected italian cooking in the kitchen for all of her family, how her house always smelt of garlic(Ha!), most of all, I want them to remember how her face lit up when they would walk into her home. Every time she saw Jacob, she would get this smile like I had never seen...I cherish those moments where she would share "eskimo" kisses with my two sons. Eskimo kisses were our little "thing" that we did each time we said hello and goodbye. She taught me so much about being a mother. I cherish the relationship that I had with her for my entire life. I remember her holding me when I felt sad throughout my life...she would hold me and cry with me and suddenly I felt a sense of calm. How does a grandmother do that so well? as for her name? Josephine Arnona...she always has and always will be Bonka to me, my husband and boys. I was Jacob's age when I came up with her name and it certainly stuck. and I think she liked it? She has it on her headstone right next to my grandpa. so many memories, I know her smell( it scares me that I'll forget it), She was quiet most of the time, but I could tell in her eyes that I made her proud. She loved my husband-she looked forward to our wedding for a very long time...she looked beautiful. I have those memories with me forever and they will never be forgotten. Never. Love you Always, Bonka. You left us with the greatest of memories and a lifetime full of love-I don't remember a time where I felt angry or mad at you and that brings me joy, I will make sure Jacob and Justin grow up knowing of the love you had for them and Jacob told me this evening as I layed in bed crying for you, "Make sure we go and tell Bonka we love her in the morning."...we love you forever. I feel scared and afraid, but I should not because you are going to be with the Lord, to the most beautiful place...but I want to be selfish and keep you here with us, but not as you suffer like this.

just because...

This would be a just because kinda day...

staying in our pj's, just because...

didn't send Jacob to Mother's Day Out, just because...

and took these cute pics of my boys, just because...

ENJOY!!

9 months

Handsome, little 9 month old boy, right?? Hey sweet, little man! You are 9 months old and growing more each day. You came into our lives on May 11, 2009 and what a blessing you have been to our little family! You are THE sweetest kid ever. I enjoy our cuddle time more than anything...and you do too. You love it! You are starting to eat "real" food and your fav's are mac and cheese and peas. Think you'd eat 'em all day long if we'd let you. That giggle and smile of yours is priceless! You make our lives so much more than we ever imagined...thank you sweet boy. We love you more than life itself and Mommy would like you to stay 9 months old for another few months, because I'm not prepared for your 1st birthday...you're suppose to be my baby forever, right? Love you always.

Where's the L-O-V-E?

...it's right HERE!

Tried having ourselves a little V-Day photo shoot before Jacob went to his valentine party at school, and this was THE best we got! Jacob using his "fake" smile that he loves so very much and Justin crackin' up as always!

HAPPY V-DAY 2010! XOXO from the McClellen's

Louisiana or BUST!

For those of you that know, we were suppose to spend most of this week/weekend in New Orleans for Mardi Gras, however those plans changed due to Bonka's health, so we decided last minute...we looked forward to Louisiana all year, so let's take a small trip to Lake Charles, LA, Lauberge Du Lac to be more specific...and boy, did we have FUN! Look at this boy chowin' down on some po'boy bread...If you have never been to any part of Louisiana, you know that food there compared to Texas, well, it just doesn't compare!

You can see what I mean as you watch my child opening his mouth as wide as it'll go to stuff this big 'ol turkey po'boy in his little mouth! That takes skill ladies and gentlemen! This restaurant had a train running all through it and Jacob thought that was the coolest thing EVER! So easily pleased!!!

TA DAAAA! Trying some "real" king cake (a.k.a not the stuff you buy from kroger or wal-mart that taste like it was make three years prior...this is the real deal!) DELICIOUS! Wish you could check out his bright, purple lips! loved it! This was dessert and breakfast for him. Oh well, it was a mini-vacation, right?

Mommy and Jacob sitting outside of "Chuck E Cheese" (a.k.a. Lauberge Du Lac Casino, where we stayed, but Jacob seemed to believe that it was a Chuck E Cheese on steroids!)..no worries though, we brought him to the arcade in there and he was content, the thing did remind us of a big Chuck E Cheese! Pretty cool! Definately going back toward summer to swim and check out the lazy river..it looks F-U-N! Mommy and Daddy even had some gambling time there...like old times! Mommy actually did really good on her fav. machine-WHEEL OF FORTUNE! I just like to get three spins and spin the wheel...makes me feel like I'm on the show! Ha!

PawPaw(my dad) came to see us in the hotel and that was Jacob's favorite part. This boy L-O-V-E-S hotels. I think that's the best part of any vacation for him!

Oh yes, and this would be my child wearing the slippers and robe from the hotel...see what I mean? LOVES THE HOTEL! Thinks he's soooo cool in this picture, he was saying, "take my picture in the hotel flip flops and with the rope on". If you ever need someone to DESTROY a hotel room in about 10min., we've got the boy for the job!! Call us!

Okay, let me explain....first of all, these are taken at Steamboat Bills(if you've never been...GO, RIGHT NOW!), second of all, my dad's family is HUGE, so wonderful and they all look very much alike, most of them are from Lake Charles and Sulphur, LA so we all decided to meet up and have a little reunion while we were in town, which was great because we NEVER get to see them...NEVER! The photo above is my mom, Aunt Laura(dad's sister) and ME!

Now this photo above was some super, famous couple that everyone was snapping pictures of, so I grabbed a photo for myself...aren't they just beautiful? Wonder who they are???

Jacob fell outta that chair THREE times at dinner because of sitting like that...whew, Mommy must have been busy eatin' some delicious, cajun food?? WHOOPS!

Now, I wish I could go through and name them all to you, so let's see....far left, Aunt Yalon(dad's sister), and far right, Grandma Louviere(dad's mother), and then bunches of aunts/uncles and cousins in between! Very fun, little trip, good visit with family that was much needed(thanks Dad!), and Jacob got his wish of going to a HOTEL! And thanks Mom for giving Brandon and I some time to gamble downstairs by ourselves...it was nice and I won some extra spending money$$!

GO SAINTS!

So, we had ourselves a little SuperBowl family party this afternoon and we are happy to say, "WHO DAT"-GO SAINTS! They did it! And yes, we're from Houston and not New Orleans, LA... however, we have plenty of family that live there and this win felt like our win too, so there! Our little family photo...please check out Jacob's Saints hard hat...hilarious! This boy wore this thing most of the game! If you look close, you'll see his brother, Justin cracking up!

Love this family of FOUR!

a little brother photo...oh how sweet! as soon as I took this picture, jacob took off from behind justin and he went plop! poor Justin, his brother isn't into brotherly love just yet! It'll come...right?

VICTORY!!! GO SAINTS...can you tell we are celebrating? There's that hard hat again!

And sweet boy tried to stay up for the whole game, but just couldn't make it...he was out by 7:30! But he's still showing his team spirit!

GO SAINTS!

You decide?

Okay, so you be the judge...he'll be 9 months old very soon and still no crawling! This little man would MUCH rather stand up, take some steps every now and then(happening more these days!), eat and LAUGH! Will he crawl or just take off one day walking all over our house??

YOU DECIDE??

You gotta admit, the boy looks so darn cute standing there strikin' a pose for his Momma, right? So, does it really matter if he gets crawling down in the near future? Momma says NO! I mean, I am able to still get things done around the house and I am not super excited about chasing him around and not being able to go ANYWHERE because he'll knock things down, break things, try putting toys in electrical outlets-yes, ours are covered but can't speak for others!, (or maybe that was just Jacob? Ha!)

Oh and this picture? Well, this one is there just to give you all an idea of a day in the McClellen house! Ha! Trying to catch a picture of Justin standing there like a little man and big man jumps in pushing himself through just in time for the camera to SNAP! Ha! and that would be Justin mid-fall right before his bottom hit the ground...luckily he's a trooper and just laughed it off!

Gotta love these boys and man, we sure DO!